Dissappointment

If I dropped to my knees and begged
And cried
Felt like I died
Still despised
Demise
Lies
Deceitful
Cheater
Destroyed everything
I am horrible
You spit
You yell
You tease
Mislead
Distract
React
Terrible
To the thoughts of it

You dream about it
Relive it
Rethink it
Disbelieve it
Demolish it
"You stupid..."

I can't breath
I can't stop crying
How could I?
I wanna die
I wanna live
Just for the chance
To fix everything
Erase everything
Change everything
Overshadow it
Make it feel different
Convince you
Make you
Want me

But after all of this
I lost that,

I was still living for myself.